Dota 2: Rule 34 (Part One)

Story contains strong sexual content. The pornographic kind. Reader discretion advised.

Dota 2: Rule 34

Lina stood next to the Ancient with her arms crossed. She had a nasty look on her face that could kill a yak from 100 yards away. She had been grouped together with three so-called “heroes” that she had never even heard of before... and with her sister, Rylai. Lina could not think of anyone on the planet she would like to be with less.

“So now I get Ancient babysitting duty, and I have to do it with the Ice Queen.” Lina commented. The glare Lina got from Rylai at this comment was as cold as her magic.

“You seem about as excited as I am to be grouped with a whiny fire-bitch.” Rylai shot back.

Mirana stepped in. “Please, girls. We are supposed to be on the same team. Can't you put your rivalry aside for just a little while?”

Lina and Rylai both turned to Mirana. “No!” They both shouted in unison.

“Can't YOU walk around like a normal person instead of riding around on that dumb cat all the time?” Lina snapped.

“Yeah, don't your legs work? Or are you just that lazy?” followed Rylai.

Mirana stood up from her nightsaber mount and scratched behind its ears. “I have already told you, she is my familiar. We share a bond, I can sense what she is feeling... If she he feels like carrying me into battle, I will allow her.”

While Mirana was explaining, Lina and Rylai had already begun wrestling each other and trying to pull each others' hair out. Mirana rolled her eyes. “Shitty wizards.”

Ulfsaar, the bear warrior who also goes by the name of Ursa, reached down and picked them both up by their waists, one in each hand. “Looks like we're going to have to separate you two,” Ursa said in a deep voice. “Lina, I'm going to assign you to the path to the south.”

Lina scowled.

Ursa continued, “Rylai will take the path to the north,”

Rylai crossed her arms and looked as far away from her sister as she could.

“I shall take the path in the center. Mirana, you should scout around in the forest and see what you can find.”

A voice called from behind the group. “And what is my assignment, bear?” Ursa gently set the two women down on their feet and turned toward the voice.

“I apologize, knight. I was not aware you were following the conversation. You seemed somewhat... disconnected.” Ursa explained truthfully.

Davion, the Dragon Knight responded, “Not at all, though I was slightly distracted.” He paused briefly. “In any case, I am here and I am prepared.”

Ursa nodded. “Very well then, you shall accompany Rylai on the northern path. I believe that together, we all shall...”

“If it's all right with you, bear warrior,” interrupted Davion, “I would like to take the southern path. I think that the fire mage could use some assistance.”

Lina was shocked. “How dare you! I'll have you know I am perfectly capable of defending against any enemy! I should burn you to cinders!” A fireball began to form in Lina's right hand. Rylai quickly shot an ice bolt at the fireball and quenched it.

“ENOUGH!” Ursa roared. The entire team felt the shockwave of his sound, and a flock of birds flew hurriedly from a nearby tree. “You have your assignments, now move before I tear you all limb from limb!”